(Legit) Massage in Sukhumvit, BKK, Thailand
covagabond. wherever it takes us
X.SEA.3: (Legit) Massage in Sukhumvit, BKK, Thailand
[Note: I have very few, if any, personal photos of the businesses discussed in this article. In addition to my own photographs of the general locations discussed, and as this is currently a non-profit publication, I am including images of the businesses under discussion from Google, under fair use domain, and will merge a credit into each photo so used. I am happy to remove any copyrighted material at the owner’s request. Contact me at covagabond.travel.blog@gmail.com with any questions or concerns.]
X.SEA.3: (Legit) Massage in Sukhumvit, BKK
Sukhumvit Soi 32, Bangkok, Thailand, Earth.
Same bat-covagabond, same bat-travelblog!
I believe in eastern healing practices like yoga, meditation, and massage. However, with a reputation like Thailand’s, I decided to do a little research before heading out to the nearest shop.
The reputation is well deserved, because passing parlors with names like “Love Teen Massage”, “Dream Heaven Massage”, and “Bangkok Passion” with their ladies lounging in various states of dishabille and calling invitingly to passersby left little to the imagination as I walked to the Asian Herb Association Sawadee Shop. I’d found it on a suitably indignant discussion board about the Sukhumvit pay-for-play scene, and where to find upstanding alternatives for discerning vagabonds.
Upon arrival at Sawasdee I was invited to sign up for a membership, which I did. The card is safely stored for future visits. After signing in I was led through the beautifully appointed spa interior to a dimly lit room, where I was left to change into traditional Thai massage wear, typically ¾ length trousers (for Farang expats, at least) and a loose buttoned shirt like pajamas. I laid down and was soon greeted by a wizened woman who looked all of 4’9″. We exchanged pleasantries, I told her I liked deep pressure (which is true), and she began.
The torture session that followed was exquisite. No sarcasm or humor intended. It was torture. I love deep tissue massage for its healing properties. It hurts like hell when done properly, and Miss 4’9″ was an expert. “Assisted yoga” they call it. “Entry level BDSM pain and complete denial session,” sounds a little closer to me, but tomato tomato. (That’s a fun aphorism to use in text.) I’d opted for a combo, Thai/oil session, so after the precise destruction of every cellular pocket of lactic acid and dignity in my body by 80-pound sexagenarian, we began the oil half.
For any delusional hopefuls out there, take no comfort from the world oil. Instead, understand that there are non-slippery pains, and there are slippery pains. This is simply the latter. The crushed and mutilated remnants of my soul were soon to learn that reducing the coefficient of static friction on my body to effectively zero meant unobstructed access for miniature vices of hands and feet to milk any remaining pride from the mangled corpse I’d opted to become. It was lovely. Earlier I mentioned meditation, and one of the practices I’ve cultivated over the years is breath control. Deep, intentional breathing calms the body and increases the pain tolerance, as well as permitting deeper relaxation of connective tissue. Focusing on deep exhalations and deflating your body as fully as is possible is highly beneficial, especially when under the care of a certified therapist.
I often say that a good massage hurts during, and feels good after. Asian Herb Association Sawadee proved this yet again. My whipcord, driftwood therapist had broken my body down into its essential components, and reassembled me into a younger, taller (ever so slightly), and greatly pain reduced version of myself. If this avenue of self care may be new or uncomfortable to some, here are some general tips to ensuring you have a good, legitimate massage experience. Avoid places that are open late. More so in the states, being open until 10 or later is often a characteristic of shops that focus less on therapeutic practices, especially true of Asian massage providers in the US.
Avoid cash only places, places with table showers, and places that look lived-in. Women are often lured or coerced into coming to the states to work, only to find themselves living 24/7 in thinly veiled, quite literally at times, brothels “giving massages” for 18 hours a day while being shuttled from city to city on a circuit with thousands of other undocumented sex workers being trafficked in similar fashion.
Spotlight piece to follow.
Same bat-covagabond, same bat-travelblog!
However, I have found legitimate eastern practice in the states. I will do a full article on her practice soon, but for now I can tell you that she is a classically trained Thai masseuse, and she changed my life for the better the moment we met. Due to her ministrations and that of another LMT I’ll showcase in the Intermountain West, who I’ve learned a great deal from, I haven’t been to a chiropractor or experienced lasting pain in years.
When it comes to getting undressed, if you’re uncomfortable being naked, that’s okay. Bring an extra pair of, whatever rocks your, whatever again… and keep them on for the duration. Just remember a reusable bag to carry them home in, as they’ll probably have oil on them. The key to a good massage is communication. The therapist must rely on clear feedback from the patient, so that no damage is done, and also to maximize the effectiveness of the allotted treatment time. There are times when i’ll say something as specific as, “I need you to reduce the pressure on your left index finger ever so slightly,” as the underside of the gleno-humeral joint is being pinpointed; others when I’ll say, “Oh sweet f#%&ing b(_=* c>&%÷…”. You get the idea. But your therapist is a practitioner, not a clairvoyant, so don’t be shy. (Sorry shy peeps.
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Other than that, in Thailand look for Traditional uniforms, older therapists, and open, visible massage spaces, and you’ll usually be safe. If you find yourself being led up three flights of stairs past any sort of communal area, you’ll know you’ve strayed into the beaten path. Turn back, but know that the occasional happy opportunity may present itself to the unwary traveler.
As always,
Your covagabond
~
“Health is the greatest possession.” -Lao Tzu
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